When a Parent Feels Guilty

In my last post I promised that I would share a sample of one of the daily emails I send out. The one I chose is from this past fall. I hope it will help you decide if you want to sign up to receive my emails.

Do you struggle with guilt? I used to struggle with it a lot. I still do at times. It can be a monkey on your back that won’t let gomonkey on back until you take it before God and deal with it. Only He can remove it completely.

Here are a few thoughts on the subject from one of our support group sessions:

We tend to examine our parenting record, looking for that moment, that mistake that flipped the switch on our relationship. Why? Because guilt is one of the biggest tricks in the devil’s arsenal.

It embarrasses heartbroken parents into silence; especially those of us who are perfectionists who have high expectations of ourselves and our children.

We’re convinced if other people knew about our child’s problems they would immediately assume that, had we done a better job of parenting, they would never have rebelled or turned against God.

A wise mom strongly stated to a room full of guilty moms and dads, “We need to let them own what is their part and then we need to own what is ours. Beyond that, we need to refuse the rest. None of us is perfect!”

Remember this: In the beginning of the world, in the story of Adam and Eve, God was the perfect parent. He made no mistakes. He didn’t do anything wrong, yet look what his very first two children did. They rebelled and chose not to listen. They messed up big time.

Who are we to think we deserve any better than God? Keep this perspective in mind the next time you’re harassed by guilt, feeling like it’s all your fault.

I’m not where I once was in my struggle with this. Some days I still torment myself wondering if there was something I could have done differently, or not done, etc. that might have changed things . . .but that doesn’t help anyone.

I need give myself a lot more grace.

So. Do. You.

Click here to sign up for my daily emails (Monday through Saturday). I’d love to offer strength and help to you.

Father, I pray for the parents reading this, that they will find the encouragement and support they need to continue on their most difficult journey with a little more hope and peace.

In the Comforting Name of Jesus.

Amen.

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