The 3 A’s for Hurting Parents

Admit.  Acknowledge that there is a problem and that you are powerless over it.  This is where you begin.   Open your eyes.  Wake up.  Stop

My peace lily

denying.  Face the truth.  Yes, it’s scary, but you can do it!

Act.  Take action to get help for yourself and for your child (if they are under 18). Learn all you can about your child’s “issue” and become an expert on it.  Go to a professional (counselor, psychiatrist, psychologist, etc.) or take them to one.  Go to the library, research on the internet.   Find a support group and go to it.  Don’t just sit there, do something.  Don’t let the shock and pain you are in paralyze you.  Don’t isolate.  Instead, reach out for help.  There is a lot of help available to you!

Accept.  Face the situation.  It is what it is.  You cannot make it go away.  You cannot change them or fix them.  Take one day at a time.  Give your child back to God and trust him with their life.  Let go and let Him work.  Stop enabling.  Detach with love.  Then take care of yourself and get strong.  It takes a lot of courage to not enable.

This verse from the Old Testament encourages me so much:  “The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses His people with peace.”  (Psalms 29:11)  I try to read one Psalm every day.  They cover the whole spectrum of emotions and human experience.  They are like medicine for the heart!

A book that has helped me tremendously on my journey is Hope of a Homecoming by O’Rourke and Sauer.  You should check it out!

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