Difficult Father’s Day

When special days come I am always thinking about parents whose hearts are breaking and burdened, full of pain and worry,  fear and rejection.  Father’s Day is one of those difficult days you would just rather skip and pretend it didn’t occur.  Everyone is receiving cards and going out to do something together.  Your neighborhood may be full of family get-togethers.  Friends and relaties may be asking what your plans are.  Or at work the next day they will be asking how your Father’s Day was — which means you are supposed to brag on how loving and thougthful your children were, showing you how much they love you.  Not!  Maybe you just wish you knew where they were or if they are even alive.  It’s a terrible place to be.  I remember if we didn’t hear from our daughter (or maybe not until the end of the day) I would feel so bad for my husband.  It hurt me, too.

It’s just so hard!  You want to crawl in a hole and make it all go away.  It just makes your pain worse because it only reminds you what you don’t have anymore . . . .  it makes you long for when your child was younger and they actually wanted to be with you.  You were their hero!   What happened?

Drugs happened.  Alcohol happened.  Friends with negative influences happened.  Depression happened.  Self harm happened.  Anger and resentment happened.  Rebellion happened.  Lives changed.  Everything changed.  Nothing’s the same.

This message is to every hurting dad out there who feels their pain compounded on Father’s Day.  I hope your son or daugther will at least call you and say Happy Father’s Day, even if they aren’t ready to say,”I Love You” . . . but if not, remember this is just one chapter in their lives, it’s not the whole story.  It is very likely they will come around and eventually appreciate you again, even say, “I love you, please forgive me.  I’m sorry I was such a jerk”.

But that may not be today.  The wait may be long. Some say this is not a sprint, it’s a marathon!   You may wonder when it will ever end, but don’t despair.  Like my friend says, “As long as they are still breathing, there is still hope!”

Keep believing.  Keep trusting God.  Give thanks for all there is to be grateful for in your life.  Limit the amount of time you allow yourself to fret and obsess over them.  Get busy helping someone else.  I really like this bible verse.  It gives me such hope:

 “This land that was laid waste has become like the garden of  Eden.”                                                                                                              (Ezekiel 36:35)

A great little book that gives hope in life’s severe trials is Holding onto Hope by Nancy Guthrie.

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