This is my last post for National Suicide Prevention Month. The special focus is ended, but the need for #encouragement and #support goes on. #Parents who’ve been crushed by the weight of their child’s death by #suicide need huge amounts of ongoing comfort.
Today’s blog is what I would want someone to say to me if my daughter ever takes her life. I’ve come close to losing her numerous times.
Renee, now 29, has battled with #addiction, mental health issues, and suicidal thoughts since she was a teenager. Thank God she’s still alive – only by His grace.
But many other parents – thousands upon thousands all over the world – are not so fortunate. I’m dear friends with some of them.
This is my heartfelt letter to you:
Your child’s suicide wasn’t your fault.
Today’s blog is a re-post from July 12, 2014. It’s written by guest blogger, Nick Watts, a father whose son died by suicide a little over three years ago. With beautiful authenticity he shares what the first year was like after this significant loss, what restored him, and where he found hope to go on. If you’ve lost your child to suicide, it is our prayer that you find help and hope from his words.
JORDAN’S BIRTHDAY IS THIS SATURDAY, JULY 12th
It took me eight months to come out of shock after the death of my son. I’ll never forget the morning this past January when I awoke noticing something was different psychologically. Powerfully different.
After a few minutes, I finally realized I had not woken up trying to undo my son’s death – which was a sort of psychological torture I had endured both consciously and subconsciously every minute of every day since he took his life the previous May. It was as though my mind finally exhaled.
I’ll never forget that moment. Truth was slowly having its way with my broken mind & heart.
I’ll never forget the day I discovered my daughter was suicidal. Paralyzed by shock and fear, I was at a loss to know what to do. I didn’t think there was anything other than keeping a constant watch over her. Have you been in my place or are you there now? Maybe it’s not your child. It might be another family member or friend you’re worried about. I thought there was nothing I could do that would make any difference.
But I’ve learned that’s not true. There IS something we can do.
It’s not that hard and it could give them new hope.
It could save their life.
This post is the last in a series about a simple, easy-to-learn three-part process designed to help prevent death by suicide. The process is called QPR: Question, Persuade, Refer.
Developed by Dr. Paul Quinnett of the QPR Institue, the information in these blogs is from a workshop I attended. You can read more about it here: qprinstitute.com
Today I’m addressing the third step, Refer.
You’re worried out of your mind that your son or daughter may be thinking about taking their life. Does it torment you that you don’t know for sure if they’re in danger? Have you been baffled by what to do to keep them safe, other than locking them in their room and keeping a 24/7 vigil? No one can do that for long.
I’ve been in your shoes. I know how horrible it is. I wouldn’t wish that kind of torment on my worst enemy.
This is Part 2 of a series on suicide: warning signs and the QPR method for prevention that was developed by the QPR Institute: qprinstitute.com This is the work of Dr. Paul Quinnett. I learned about it when I attended one of their workshops.
Please read my last two blog posts to familiarize yourself with the warning signs, and the first step of this method, “Question”.
QPR is an acrostic for: Question, Persuade, Refer. Today’s post explains the Persuade step. You can read more about this life-saving technique on QPR Institute’s website.
Saturday, September 10th, is World Suicide Prevention Day. This is for parents who are concerned about their children. What do they need to know about suicide? They need to know there’s something they could do that might make the difference if they suspect their son or daughter is considering taking their life.
That’s great news. I never knew these things when my daughter was struggling.
This is part one of a three part series outlining a potentially life-saving technique called QPR = three simple steps (QPR steps) anyone can learn. It has been very effective across the country.
What is the number one cause of suicide?
When discovered, depression is highly treatable. Complicating factors arise, however, when a person self-medicates with alcohol – a depressant – or drugs. As odd as it sounds, research shows that “once someone decides to end their life, the hours before death are often filled with a kind of chipperness, even blissful calm. This change in mood is a good time to apply QPR.”
Who needs to know this technique? Everyone – not just concerned parents. Please share this information with your friends. Let’s spread the word and save lives.
The 3 steps are:
Question – the person about suicide.
Persuade – the person to get help.
Refer – the person to the appropriate resource.
The first step of asking “the question” is the focus of today’s blog.
Today’s blog was written by Beth Saadati. I first shared it last May. Since September is Suicide Awareness month and I’m focusing on this topic all month, I felt impressed to share it again. The message is powerful and is for anyone, not just parents.
“Given the opportunity, Jenna wouldn’t make the same choice again. But she also wouldn’t want her death to be in vain. She would want us to learn from it so we can live as overcomers. As victors. Her letter and writings are a rare gift.” -Dr. David Cox, counselor
A 14 year-old daughter’s suicide note? A gift? My thoughts reeled the day after Jenna’s death as a few close friends, my husband, and I braced ourselves for the reading of the three-page letter police had discovered on her thumb drive.
In shock, I heard the false accusations that had snaked their way into Jenna’s mind. Since then, I’ve reread the letter a hundred times and silently answered seven of its lies.
Dear Family and Extended Family,
I’m really sorry for leaving you like this. Honestly I am. During the last few months of my life I was incredibly depressed. You just didn’t notice since I put up a good front most of the time.
This is for any parent whose son or daughter struggles with suicidal thoughts or fantasies. Do they struggle with bipolar, depression, PTSD, or schizophrenia? Are you tormented not knowing if they’re safe or not – from themselves? Do you have an uneasy feeling that something is wrong but can’t put your finger on it? Do you worry they feel worthless and believe their life doesn’t matter? If so, this is especially for you. The information contained here could be crucial for your child.
This content is from The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline website.
The following behaviors may mean someone is at risk for ending their life. The risk of suicide is greater if a behavior is new or has increased, or if it seems related to a painful event, loss, or change.
If your child exhibits any of these signs, seek help as soon as possible by calling the Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). A trained individual will take your call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, including holidays.
These are the warning signs to watch for: