This is Part 1 of a blog written by Kathy Taughinbaugh, a coach for parents of addicts. These are some amazing quotes, so let’s begin.
“My recovery from addiction to my addict began much earlier than my son’s recovery from addiction to drugs. My hope for everyone is that no matter what chaos is in your lives at the moment, you are able to control what goes on within you and have some peace. I read somewhere that there will always be sadness, but misery is a choice.” ~ Denise Krochta, author of Sweat
“It just takes one to stop the dance, to change the steps and start a new dance. But if both change and learn the new steps and practice those steps, together, a new dance is created.
If you’re the parent of an addict, or you wonder if your child has a problem, then you must read this. Written by my daughter, Renee, about four years ago, it’s powerful and sobering. She’s in recovery from alcohol and drug addiction, self-injury, struggles with mental health issues, has been the victim of rape, and is a suicide survivor. There were many times I didn’t think either one of us would survive. Wherever you are in the journey with your son or daughter, don’t give up. Hold on. STAY.
“I was on my way home from the beach today when I received a text from a friend informing me that they had relapsed on heroin. They were coming off a two-week bender. My heart seemed to stutter, as if it started to cry before I could. A tennis ball lodged itself in my throat and I struggled to swallow. Then anger rose up inside of me from the depths, doing it’s job, protecting me from the pain. (It’s easier to be angry than to be hurt.) I sat in the back seat of the car the last thirty minutes of the trip home, shaking my head in silence and fighting tears, when the anger subsided.
Does your son or daughter have a sexual addiction? Do they go from one promiscuous relationship (with the same-sex or the opposite sex) to another? Are they irresistibly drawn to pornography in various forms? Have these behaviors become a pattern? If so, you need to know about Bethesda Workshops in Nashville, Tennessee.
Their mission is to provide a place for healing for those damaged by pornography and other forms of sexual addiction; and to provide training for professionals who work with sex addicts and their loved ones. They offer clinical intensive workshops with the best strategies based on grace-based Christian principles.
What sets them apart?
I’m a hurting parent. If you’re reading this, you probably are, too. My daughter has struggled with addictions, mental illness, self-injury and more for over ten years. It’s been a rough road full of ups and downs. There were many times I didn’t think she would make it – or myself, for that matter. She survived and I did, too. Although I have a lot more gray hair and not a few wrinkles. My marriage even made it.
How? It wasn’t easy. There were things that contributed to my survival. I found help in many places and people. One of them was God.
Anger. A strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or irritation; frustration or exasperation toward someone or something you have no control over. Gee, that definition describes what we often feel as parents of rebellious children, doesn’t it? We have no control over our adult children (teens can be very difficult, too – any age can).
You know what it feels like. It wells up within you. Some of us are more comfortable expressing our anger than others. I’m one of the ‘others’
I am the mother of Renee Yohe. Who is she? She’s the troubled young woman whose story became a phenomenon when it birthed a global, non-profit movement called To Write Love on Her Arms (twloha.com; also on Facebook). They bring help and hope to those who struggle with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. Their website explains their purpose: “To encourage, inform, inspire, and invest directly into treatment and recovery.”
These are the issues my daughter has struggled with for years. She almost lost her life – more than once. My journey as her mom has been, by far, the most difficult experience of my life, yet the most transforming. And now her story has been transforming the lives of thousands, if not millions, around the world. We marvel over this.
A little over three years ago another amazing thing happened. A movie was made about Renee’s story and the five life-changing days that snowballed into what we know today as To Write Love on Her Arms (twloha.com). Yesterday, March 3rd, that movie, titled after the name of the organization, was released by Sony Pictures!
Do you find it hard to say no to your son or daughter? You know you should, but you just can’t bring yourself to do it? You give in too many times. I have. You want to be strong. You say you’re going to say no the next time, but . . .
I’m not speaking of a mature, responsible teen or adult child. Of course you help them if you can when they need it. I’m referring to the son or daughter who’s irresponsible, has addictions, or other patterns of destructive and dangerous behavior.
When you say yes to the latter, you think you’re being loving and helping but really – you’re not. Love needs to be tough. Helping only keeps them dependent on you, and it prevents