Is your child an addict or are they making other destructive choices that hurt you? Are they breaking your heart? If so, I have a proposal. It may sound rather odd, but hear me out. Why don’t you become addicted, too?
Wait a minute. Have I lost my mind completely – well, not yet, I hope.
Instead of becoming addicted to things that are destructive or hurtful, why not become addicted to things that are beneficial and could be helpful? There can be good dependencies, can’t there?
Today’s post is a re-blog written by Stacy Flury. Check out her blog for parents of hurting or troubled teens at Anchor of Promise.
When parents with teens in crisis get overwhelmed with no hope, they start a process within them to protect their heart. It’s called, “Detachment”. For many parents, this is not something willingly expressed but instead suppressed. If you think about it, how many moms and dads with teens in crisis are willing to openly share their true feelings as a parent?
While many do not want to talk about it, they often want to run away from it. For some, the idea of not knowing if they will wake up to hear that their teen overdosed on drugs, cut themselves so much that they ended up in the hospital, or ran off with a total stranger, it can be very distressing.
This is a wonderful and insightful blog and not just for parents of teens. Thanks for writing a great one, Stacy!
The perfect gift. Is there such a thing – especially for brokenhearted parents? Did you struggle to come up with just the right present to give your spouse, partner, parent(s), sister, friend or grandparent this year?
You want the gift to be special for those you love. It needs to show thought and care. You go to great efforts to take into consideration their likes and dislikes.
In recent years my husband and I have gone so far as to let our adult children shop for themselves. That way we know for sure they’re getting something they will like and need.
And what about your “prodigal”? That’s a horse of a different color.
Are you the parent who can relate to one of these situations? Your son is in jail with an unknown outcome looming in the future. Your daughter is fresh out of rehab, not the first time, living in your home again. They have a gambling problem that’s slowly destroying their life; they’re in denial that they drink too much, or abuse their prescription meds; they refuse treatment for a brain disorder; they’ve rejected you and want nothing to do with you because of a position you took regarding their choice of lifestyle; they have a same-sex partner; or they’re undergoing medical treatment to become transgender. How can you have joy at Christmas?
Maybe by letting go of expectations about what you have no control over will help. If you can lower what you expect from your child, it can do wonders. Otherwise, frustrations build up. You become hurt and angry. Discussing this with other parents I’ve realized we need to distinguish the difference between goals and desires. This is lead to joy – even during the holidays.
If you’re a parent in pain due to the behaviors, choices, and struggles of your teen to adult child, then why not give yourself a gift for Christmas this year – one that can help you? You sure deserve it. You’ve been through so much. No one can fully realize just how much–except God and you. So, I’m giving you an early gift–a list of some of my favorite books.
They’re the ones that have helped me the most over the last ten plus years. They cover the broad issues we all deal with, so they apply to all of us. The only one that doesn’t is the devotional for those who have an addicted loved one. I’ve given you a brief summary of each book, but you can find out more about them on Amazon, or some other book sales company. Half.com is another place to get good deals.
Hope of a Homecoming: Entrusting Your Prodigal to a Sovereign God by O’Rourke and Sauer; two moms share their personal experiences about dealing with their own prodigals.
Today’s blog is a visual one. I did another one like this back in July. I am moved by the beauty captured by photography.It soothes my soul. During this holiday season when brokenhearted parent’s emotions may be raw I hope you will find solace here. Soak in the beauty and peacefulness of each photo. Let these pictures draw you to a place of calmness and hope. Let them renew and refresh. Be blessed with a few moments of serenity.