Today’s post is part two in a three-part series by Ellen Gee, guest blogger and author. She’s writing from her personal experiences to parents who have a son or daughter who is incarcerated. Need hope? Need fresh ideas for how to love with boundaries and stay close? This post will help.
As the months went by, my husband and I realized we couldn’t help our son, Daniel (serving a six year prison sentence), by ourselves. But in order to initiate our friends and family’s involvement, we had to convince them he wanted help. And the best way to do that was to connect them.
One by one, we called each close friend, cousin, uncle, aunt, and grandparent. We asked a simple question. Would they be willing to receive a collect call from Daniel once a week for the next six years?
Meet today’s guest blogger and author, Ellen Gee. I’m very excited about a three-part series she wrote for us to hurting parents of inmates. I believe her insights will be of tremendous help to any parent who finds themselves in this situation that no parent is ever prepared for.
Are you the hurting parent of an inmate? Have you been wondering how to stay connected with your son or daughter during their incarceration? We were.
It’s been almost twenty years since a Virginia judge handed down a six-year prison sentence to our then 19-year-old son. Convicted of nineteen felonies – armed robbery, grand theft auto, use of a firearm in the commission of a felony, just to name a few
Easter isn’t a happy day for many parents. It brings a heavy weight of sadness when a child is struggling or has withdrawn, not wanting any contact. They may not even know where their child is or they may be incarcerated. The possible reasons are too numerous to list. I’ve felt that pain. I understand.
I had to make a choice: Turn inward and feel sorry for myself, or turn to God and let him comfort me. Which one did you choose?
If you chose to turn inward, wallowing in self-pity and isolation, this blog is for you.
Today, Easter Sunday, has embedded in it the greatest message ever proclaimed to mankind.
Brokenhearted parents have been on my mind as Easter Sunday draws near. Is this you? You’re depleted and hopeless. Things have gotten worse. You haven’t seen any change at all. Your child is still drinking, can’t manage to stay clean, keeps cutting themselves, got arrested again, trapped in a sexual addiction, binging and purging, angry at the world – that includes you.
Heavyhearted, you’re not looking forward to Easter at all. You know what Christ could do for your child and it grieves you deeply that they still don’t want what he has to offer. This has been wearing on you.
Easter’s coming. Holidays can be so hard when your child (or any loved one) is causing you heartache and pain. When they’re struggling with an addiction to alcohol or drugs, are incarcerated, engaging in self-injury, involved with pornography, gambling or video-gaming, have a mental health issue, or a same-sex identity issue, it changes everything. When a holiday comes you hurt more.
Memories from when they were young and innocent flood your mind.
You can’t help but remember your adorable little girl all dressed up in her Easter clothes. Her beautiful smile would catch your breath. You can still see your precious four-year-old son who was so cute in his suit and tie. His impish smile could melt your heart.
What fun you had surprising them with baskets of treats. Happy memories of Easter egg hunts now only bring tears and pain. It reminds you of what’s been lost. How could you ever forget?
Do you have a son or daughter who has been given the mental health diagnosis of bipolar? Was it hard for you to believe it could be true? Did you wonder what this would mean for their future? Have you struggled to understand? Has it been difficult to figure out how to help? It was for me.
I want to tell you about a book that was written just for young adults to help them accept their diagnosis and learn how to deal with it. I wish it had been written ten years ago when we began this journey with our daughter.
The book is Facing Bipolar: the young adult’s guide to dealing with bipolar disorder by Russ Federman, Ph.D. and J. Anderson Thomson, Jr., MD. A unique fact about these authors is that they have been involved in counseling and psychological services on college campuses for over thirty years. Out of their experiences they developed a burden that birthed this book.
Today we are pleased to share the writings of a mom who has been on a difficult parenting journey like many of us. Her son is a recovering drug addict. She has become a dear friend of Dena’s who she enjoys spending time with at writer’s conferences. From time to time we will feature guest bloggers. Today’s is Sharron Cosby. We shared one of her blogs before. We think you will enjoy her insights again today. If you’d like to read her previous post it was on January 11, 2013, A Parent’s Sugar-Free Challenge.
Hope. This word is tossed around in every day conversations like ping-pong balls on a tournament table. Perhaps you’ve said something like:
I hope I get that new job.
Man, I hope I win the lottery. I could sure use the money!
I sure do hope I get a new car. I hate my old clunker.
I hope the weather’s good this weekend since we’re going to the beach.
As believers and followers of Christ, where do we place our hope and trust when troubles and temptations come our way?
Have you struggled to believe your child would actually lie to you? Were you like me, always surprised when you caught your son in a lie? When you discovered your daughter’s dishonesty did it shock you? I never wanted to believe mine would lie to me. Like most parents, I wanted to believe the best, until she proved otherwise. And it hurt every time I caught her in a lie. It felt like a knife in the heart.
Is there a way to tell if you’re being lied to? What can you look for? Here is a list of eight things:
1. Repeating your question. When asked, “What did you do at Jimmy’s house today?” If they repeat it, “What did I do at Jimmy’s house today?” then it’s a signal they’re stalling while they’re try to come up with an answer.