Encouraging Quotes for Parents in Pain

truthI’m in the middle of writing a series of posts on mental illness. So far I’ve addressed depression and bipolar disorder. Next will be Schizophrenia. But for today I thought I would take a break and write a blog of encouraging quotes for my readers. The topic of mental illness, also called brain disorders, is heavy stuff.  If your child has been diagnosed with one it can feel pretty overwhelming at times. So here are some good words to uplift your spirit and lighten your heart. Reading over them as I went through the process of selecting the ones I wanted to share with you brightened my spirit. Let’s see if they will do that for you.

We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.  ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Parents with Broken Hearts Must Learn to Do This

beauty1My husband and I lead a support group for parents who are heartbroken and in pain due to the choices and behaviors of their children. This is the content from our last meeting. It is not original. It’s from The National Alliance on Mental Illness: nami.org  I made some revisions and additions which are in (parentheses).

Want more peace? Then you must learn to let go. Letting go has been a very difficult thing for me to do. I’m still learning and it’s been over eight years.  Al-Anon has a motto that says, Let go and let God. This isn’t a new concept. It’s similar to detaching, no longer trying to fix or change, but entrusting your loved one into God’s hands. When I release my need to control – recognizing that only the Maker of the universe has that power I’m letting go. I hope you find this to be a practical help and encouragement. If I can learn to let go, you can, too. I want – no, I need – the peace it can bring. We all do.

Let go . . . (and let God work)

To let go does not mean to stop caring. It means I can’t do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off. It’s the realization I can’t control another.

To let go is to allow someone to learn from natural consequences.

To let go is to recognize when the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to care for, but to care about.

To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive. (by listening, empathizing and finding ways to show you care without doing too much for them – enabling)

To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to expect (demand) miracles, but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it. (To wrestle with the tension between expecting and believing God can do anything – he IS the miracle worker – yet accepting what is.)

To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past (not dwell on it – it is what it is; we must accept our new normal. God made us very adaptable. We can do it with his strength. We have to.), but to grow and live for the future (look ahead with hope).

To let go is to fear less and love more.

These are two Bible verses that encourage me as I try to do what seems impossible:

“Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.”  I Peter 5:7

“Cast your burden on the Lord and he will sustain you.”   Psalm 55:21

I pray that God will gently teach you and help you learn to let go. We do not let go of our sons and daughters to release them into nothingness – we release them into the hands of an all-powerful God who loves and cares for them even more than we do. We let go in order to let God work. He can do what we can’t.  Please God, help us trust you enough to let go. We need the peace letting go can bring.

Four Things God does for Parents in Pain

When my daughter’s choices and behaviors were breaking my heart there was nothing I could do to stop her. I was powerless to change her.  As hope9hard as I tried, I couldn’t make her stop drinking or abusing drugs, cutting herself, or accept help for her mental health problems. I felt crazy at times. It was insanity – devastating.

The day finally came when I had to admit I was powerless. Everywhere I turned was brokenness – in my own heart as well as hers. I couldn’t fix either of us. In desperation I  reached out to a power greater than myself. For me, this power was God. By turning to him I discovered  four wonderful things he could do for me if I would humble myself and admit I needed his help. I believe he can help you, too.

Words of Hope for Hurting Parents – Part 4

This is the last of a four-part series of my favorite Bible passages that have helped me on this painful journey of parenting a child who suffers from addiction, self-injury and depression. Through them I have faced my fears, replaced despair with hope and been strengthened to face the next day. As I said in part one, I encourage you to write them down on index cards and keep them with you so you can read them often.

The more I read them the deeper they get into my heart and mind. inspirationalYou could also write them in a small notebook and fill it up with other verses or sayings that help you. What you think affects how you feel, so think on these things.

Words of Hope for Hurting Parents – Part 3

This is the third in a four-part series of my favorite Bible verses.  As a  hurting parent they comfort and encourage me. These Spirit-inspired words have strengthened and empowered me in my worst times. Through them I have found courage to get out of bed, face another day and live my life no matter what was happening with my daughter. I hope  these words of God will do the same  for you.

1)  Psalm 94:18-19  When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me your consolation brought me joy.

2)  Psalm 124:8  Our help is in the name of the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

3)  Psalm 30:11  You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing; you have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothes me with joy, that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O Lord, my God, I will give you thanks forever. (New Living Translation)

4)  Psalm 29:11  The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace.

5)  Psalm 54:4  Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me.

6)  2 Corinthians 4:18  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

7)  Isaiah 64:4  Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for (trust in) him.

Unfailing love.

Emotional support.

Joy for mourning.

Strength.

Peace.

Sustaining help.

Looking to the eternal.

Incomparable God.

We tremble speechless before You, Lord of heaven and earth. Who You are and what You’ve done sustains us. Increase our faith to believe these things are really true. It’s too much for our minds to take in. Filled with awe and wonder we bend low with thanksgiving. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Amen.