A “Fishy” Lesson for Parents

Fish hiding

A few months ago, my family and I purchased two angelfish for our aquarium. My kids named them Michael and Gabriel, of course. They have been a beautiful addition to our community tank.

Well, the other day, we got the surprise of the week: angelfish eggs! We had no idea. Evidently, Gabriel needed to be renamed Gabriella. I texted my fish-guru friend and got some advice, and we hoped for the best from this batch.

There was advice aplenty on the internet, and most people said to expect these first-time parents to eat their fry. They’d get better with each spawning. They laid the eggs on the filter intake tube, so chances were the tiny fry would get sucked up in the filter, if the parents didn’t eat them first. Or the other fish. There was danger everywhere in the tank. Why didn’t we know this? We were so unprepared to be fish parents.

Sixteen years ago we were also unprepared to be actual parents.

Words of Hope for Parents – Part 2

This is my next set of seven more Bible verses for parents in pain. I urge you to keep them with you.  I cling to these words of truth in the storms I face skywith my daughter. When nothing and no one can comfort or console me, God’s words do. We can’t fix or change our children, so we need to focus on our own well-being. As you read the scriptures below, find the time and place you can read them out loud. There’s something very powerful in doing this. Make them into your own prayers. How they will fill you and minister to you

Words of Hope for Hurting Parents

This is a collection of my seven favorite Bible verses for hurting parents. They are words of hope. They are treasures to me.  My lifeline. I’ve accumulated them after many hours ofSunset searching for comfort when I was grieving over the shattered dreams I’ve experienced with my daughter who has battled alcohol and drug addiction, self-injury, depression and suicidal thoughts.

They gave me strength when I was weak, encouragement when discouraged and hope when in despair. When I read them they’re like a cool drink on a hot summer day; a warm cozy blanket on a cold winter day; music to my ears and chocolate for my soul.

Something Weary Parents Lack

wizard of oz1Are you a weary parent?  Are you drained?  Depleted?  Worn out from dealing with your child’s rebelliousness, alcohol and drug abuse, eating disorder, forms of self-injury like cutting and burning, pornography, mental illness, sexual identity issues and continuous arrests?  If you’re like me, you lack something. Because of this you keep saying “yes” when you really want to say “no” to your child’s requests for help – more money,  more of this and more of that.

Why do we do this? Why do we keep denying our feelings? Why do we continue to give in when inside we want to stand firm and say no? What happened to us? Where did our healthy boundaries go?

What do we lack?  COURAGE. Been there. Done that. How about you?

To Parents: When Valentine’s Day Hurts

sad heartHolidays hurt when you don’t receive the love you long for from someone you care about. For parents of rebellious, wayward children, they can be dreaded occasions. You’ve been feeling like your child died. The sense of loss is overwhelming. The pain cuts deep. Stabbing. Searing. Crushing. Maybe you have even lost your ability to find pleasure in anything. You wonder if you’ll ever laugh again.

These feelings can worsen to the point of  losing your will to live.  Withdrawing and no longer socializing,  every significant relationship has been effected – your marriage, your other children and friends. If you aren’t careful, you can become obsessed with trying to control or fix your child. Life becomes pretty miserable. So when a holiday comes, like Valentine’s Day, the hurt intensifies. These special days shine a spotlight on your broken heart. You want holidays to go away.

Can you relate to these feelings? Is your pain increasing with Valentine’s Day right around the corner? Does it only remind you of the hopes and dreams you’ve lost with your child? There are some things you can do to lessen your pain.

Parents Need to Know Warning Signs of Suicide

foggy dockAre you the mom or dad of a child who is struggling with depression?  Are you tormented not knowing if your child is safe or not – from themselves? Do you have an uneasy feeling that something is wrong but can’t put your finger on it? Do you worry they feel worthless and their life doesn’t matter?  If so, this is for you. This information could be crucial for you and your child.

This information is from The National Suicide Prevention Hotline website. The following signs may mean someone is at risk for suicide. The risk of suicide is greater if a behavior is new or has increased and if it seems related to a painful event, loss, or change. If your child exhibits any of these signs, seek help as soon as possible by calling the Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

For Hurting Parents Who Can’t Stop Worrying

worry 2When you have a son or daughter you can’t stop worrying about, it can take a toll on you. Watching them struggle with alcohol, drugs, self-injury, their sexual identity, an eating disorder, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, DUIs, arrests, pornography and more is emotionally draining. There’s plenty to worry about. It’s easy to fall into a rut of endless worry that you can’t get out of. When you can’t change things in your child’s life you need to shift your focus on what you can change – your attitude.