Insanity

Insanity has been defined as “doing something the same way over and over again and expecting different results.” According to this, I must be insane. Are you? I have tried to control, fix, and change my daughter (and other things in my life) but I can’t do it! I simply cannot do it! Living with the pain and stress of having a child abuse alcohol and drugs, engage in self-harm behavior, struggle with mental illness and suicidal tendencies can make you a little crazy! No matter how hard I try I get the same results. We often try to control people, places and things, believing that our way is the right way for our child. Usually our way doesn’t work, yet we keep trying. Al-Anon says it’s an insane way to live!

In AA and Al-Anon’s 12 Step Recovery Program, Step 3 is: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God . . .” When I received Christ as my Savior and Lord I did this. I relinquished control of myself and gave it to him. Now I must do the same with all other areas of my life, including my prodigal loved one (s). I have to “let go” of my will, of the thoughts that I have any control or power to change them. This is choosing between an insane life and a sane one” — my will (trying to make something happen) or God’s will (giving it to Him and trusting Him with it).

In Courage to Change (pg. 316) it says, “Since my will had let me down time and time again, the real question was how long would I continue running around in the same circles before I was willing to admit defeat and turn to a source of genuine help?”

Let’s stop running around in circles, doing the same things over and over again. I’ve realized this only makes me dizzy and sick! I don’t know about you, but I want to exchange my insanity for the sanity God wants to give me by letting go of my will and giving my child over to His care. I hate feeling so helpless and powerless, but I need to remember, God is in control! He is working where I cannot!

“See I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert

and streams in the wasteland.” (Is. 43:19)